cognitive dissonance

Dr. Finerty, let me start by saying what a pleasure it is to be speaking with you today. I know it’s hard to believe, but I’ve been interested in rock climbing for years, even though it’s scary and also seems a little pointless. It’s such a nice day outside, perhaps you’d like to walk with me to the garden, where we can sit and chat over lemonade.

Only if it has vodka in it. I’m not too interested in fruit juices, in and of themselves. However, they do make a satisfactory diluent for alcohol so I’ll acquiesce this time.

Gee, thanks for the vocabulary lesson. So, if you don’t mind, can you please tell us why you like rock climbing so much?

Who said I liked rock climbing?

Well, I mean, you seem to spend an awful lot of time rock climbing so I just assumed you like it.

Right. I also spend a lot of time breathing and sleeping but that’s just because those are things that I do. It doesn’t mean I love them*.

*NOTE: In actuality I love to breath and sleep. I just said that other stuff to make a point. Do you ever do that too? I mean, take the other side of an argument for fun?

Ok. It’s weird that you get to make footnote type references in your interviews. How does that sound when you’re talking? Anyway, moving forward, as they say in the biz, what is it about rock climbing that you find appealing?

Well, it’s pretty hard or at least I try to make it that way periodically. Sometimes it’s a bit scary but that’s usually only the first time on a route when I think it’s going to be harder than it really is. So, I guess I like the challenges, both physical and mental.

Wow. That’s a sweet and yet oh so generic and uninformative response! I think I read that same statement in the 1982 Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition in the interview with one of the models. She used it to describe why she liked modeling. Would you say climbing is a lot like modeling?

No.

Really? Because, well, she said, well, she said the same thing you did. Don’t you think modeling is physical? Models have to work out and then walk, or maybe strut, just so. And, they have to get it right every time. Climbers can at least fall off and try again. What do you think about that?

I think you’re trying to provoke me you, you, whatever. Listen, climbing is a lot like modeling in that we all try to look as stylin’ as possible when performing gymnastic feats high above in a vertical world most people have nightmares about visiting.

Thank you for sharing. Also, I forgot to mention this but I would prefer it if you could change out of your bath robe for the next interview. As you recall, we are trying to maintain a veneer of professionalism around here.